Honey, Sex Killed Me!

To give background to the scenes I am going to describe below, I’d like y’all to know that I was invited to this ‘Tourism Fair’ and was provided with a damn sexy suite in the 4-star hotel for the stay; 4 days: me, my bike and my girlfriend J.
*Muhahahahahahahaha*
*Okay, back to the topic*

Day 3:
The crazy existence that I have had me all sweat up and weary after the long hours I had put in biking along the Mustang region trail. It’s really crazy because at one moment when you are trekking, you have this adrenaline rush and you keep going and going and going but as soon as you’re back home, you’re all tired and crashed, longing for that hot shower and the sound sleep. In my case, all the “keep it going guys” turns into “somebody, get me to my bed…some…bo…dy…”. So straight to bed I went after the hot bath and a drink, and my body gave in to the softness of the bed.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

WAIT.
Remember that gorgeous girl K from the bar I had been hitting on since Day 1? Was she in my room, right beside me!? And O.M.G. was she naked!? *Screw you fatigue*

Oh yeah, we did what you think we did.

And finally,
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Day 4:

alarm clock Pictures, Images and Photos                         Alarm clock Pictures, Images and Photos      

Where is K? If J comes to know, I be dead. I HAVE to find K!
*What the heck was I thinking!?*
Hell, I can’t even remember seeing K last night!
Wait, was it for real? Was I dreaming?
Drat, it was all a dream; my brain played fishy. How I love dreams and hate them at the same time!

Realizing I had to go join my girlfriend J for the breakfast, I got dressed up, locked the room and walked towards the restaurant. In case you didn’t know, walking alone makes my mind talk to me:

“I cannot stop thinking about the dream.
It would be megamazinglyawesome if the dream would come true!”
……………..“Yeah, like J wouldn’t kill you then.
“Screw J for a minute, I like K. She is hot.”
……………..“And J is your girlfriend.”
“Right, we can have threesome!”
……………..“J is so furious.”
“Why, it was only a dream!”
……………..“Possible because you’re late.”
“What?”
……………..“J”

Uh-oh. There she was, sitting at the table, angry like I’d never seen before. And I was late for the first time. Do girls really get pissed off when their mates are late? Wow, like she never came late. :/

With sincerity I began, “I’m so sorry J, I was so worked up yesternight. I’m so sorry. I know you’ll let go” and gave my biggest smile.

Angry Anime Girl Pictures, Images and Photos

And there I thought we could change the world with a smile.

“Let go?” she growled. I barely noted her anger. All I could notice was the 0.9mm that was pointing straight to my head. HOLY SHIT!

angry girl Pictures, Images and Photos

“HOLY SHIT! All this for just coming late!?”
……………..“Thank God the dream was a dream!”
*Okay, my mind ALSO talks to me when I’m screwed*

I thought of giving it another try. “J, I can explain.”

gunshot Pictures, Images and PhotosWhoa, girl! Let me exp…*gunshot*

After that intentionally-missed gunshot, all I could think about was what I did next. I ran. Yes, I ran. Thank you, I know it is the best thing to do when you see your mad girlfriend with a gun.

With my life in my hand, I ran.
Knowing J was behind, I ran.
She kept missing her shots
Told me the breaking pots,
Knowing how uncertain ‘twas, I ran.

Click. Click. *Pause* Click, Click, Click.

I turned to look back. J was standing in the middle of the corridor with people stuck on the side walls, scared as sh*t.

Click, Click, Click.

(I almost cracked with laughter at that)
Wow, I was almost exhausted when J’s gun showed a li’l consideration.
I took the opportunity to ask J to calm down. “Sugar we could always sit and talk it out, you know.”

“Talk it out? You wanna TALK about how you made out with that b*tch last night?!”

“Wait, what?”

*HOLY.MOTHER.OF.LORD*

“I made out with K last night?”
“And you thought I’d never know? What did you think, eh? One night I go to my granny’s place and you show your colors!”

“But…but I didn’t…didn’t do anyth…”

Knife Girl Pictures, Images and Photos
Now I know why the chef was looking for his knife.

 With my life in my hand, I ran.
Knowing J was behind, I ran.
She had only a knife,
Didn’t wanna risk my life,
Knowing how uncertain ‘twas, I ran.

And considering ‘running alone’ as an upgraded form of ‘walking alone’, my mind started talking to me, again:

……………..“It IS megamazinglyawesome that the dream came true!”
“Yeah, J WANTS to kill me now!”
……………..“Screw J for a minute, I like K. She is hot.”
“I know K is hot..but then how did the dream come true?!”
……………..“Why, you DID have sex with K. That’s so coohooohoool! Maybe the drinks were magical.”
“Wait, SHUT UP!”

And there I was running, until someone called my name and I stopped and looked around for that person.

“Kiyah!”
*Searching*
“Kiyaaaaaaaaaah!”
*Still Searching*

Standing still, suddenly, I felt two hands approaching my neck. *To kill me?*
I was shaking with fear!

“Kiyaaaah, get up!”
I opened my eyes. My mum was shaking me to wake me up. I had been sleeping for the last 12 hours. Neither did I make out with K nor was J my girlfriend. Although sad that K wasn’t for real, I found myself relieved for J not being for real too. How I love dreams and hate them at the same time!

I called my boyfriend and recounted him the entire story of my dream.
“Honey, sex killed me. ALMOST.”

Photo Credits: Photobucket
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