It’s kind of funny how two strangers become acquaintances; acquaintances friends and friends, best friends.
All of us have had this special bond, full of love and care and fun and frolic, at least once in our lives so far, this lovely tie of a best friend; a friend who becomes one of the most beloved person of all the homo sapiens you know: soul sister if she’s a she and brother from another mother if he’s a he! It’s as special a bond as you share with your life partner or perhaps superior!
But when this single thread that connects to the depth of hearts snaps in a lone moment, the ache that reaches out in every vein like cold blood seems perpetual.
How naive we are to even begin to think that any of our relationships are eternal!
You’d think why I started this topic out of the blue. I’ll tell you why.
It seldom happens, particularly with me, that whenever I’m ill I think about happier moments of my life. It all starts with the feeling of sickness that brings profound sadness and with it brings all the memories that signify the grim phases I’ve been through. So, if you are still reading you must have figured out by now that I’m ill and I’ve been thinking of a friend who is no more a friend and more prominently, of those times when facing that very friend every day in college freaked me out to endless hours of calls and cries.
It is heart-wrenching to have to go through such a mess! All the friendliness, care and love you’d been bestowed upon by the angelic character that bumped into you at the bus stand and happened to be your classmate too, seems to fades away like the shine of a golden rose that gets rusted over time. Unremittingly, you try to figure out what went wrong and try to solve out the complexities between yourselves. Mostly, when the friendship is spot-on, the understanding is superlative and the love is pure, the two souls bond again, maybe over a cup of coffee or a game of football, and how!
But happy endings are not sure-shot. Some people have to taste the bitter-sweet truth of relationships. Every time you fail at the attempts to elucidate the mix-up, the wound deepens exponentially. You try to get over, and no sooner did you start forgetting everything than you see them standing right in front of you, forcing a smile at you and then rushing back to their gang to avoid you! *Lo, there go all your efforts!* All the memories come rushing back to you to torture you incessantly!
I’ve been through this every single day since the last May. It’s been over a year and I still feel the hatred growing inside me, the hatred that turns into the helpless me when I am alone. How lucidly did love turn into hatred! And I couldn’t even help it! It is a loss to me, a loss that probably nothing can change.
But, yes, I’m tired of her not listening to me! So I’m just moving on…
*Trying to accept the past and forget it as it was*
It really takes your will that goes against your heart to decide to get over the past, forgiving and forgetting everything ruthless that happened to you, moving on with no grudges. It’s for you to be firm and decide to be true to yourself and try forgetting it instead of dying over it, again and again, of enduring the prick of the thorn on your side.
See how you get healed then!
Be care free…
and the rest will soon be history!
P.S. – Never, NEVER be a sad panda.
P.P.S. – I swear if I will ever find this, I’d gift it to her.